General Health Conditions/Issues

Posted on: Tue, Sep 2 2008 7:39 PM

Posted by: PerfectlyImperfect Posts: 1,577

I know some disabilities make it impossible for people to naturally have children, and they must turn to other options. Whatever way you had your children, I think you can give input. Did your disability in any way affect you deciding to have children? Personally, my birth defect is genetic and there is a 50/50 chance of it being passed on to my children. I have never once said I would not have kids because I am afraid of them inheriting my ectrodactyly. Is your disability genetic? If so, would you or did you have children knowing there was a possibility it would be passed onto them? If your disability isn't genetic, did it affect you becoming a parent? Or will it in the future? If so, would you still having children or explore other options? Was your parter supportive of whatever your decision was?

I know ectrodactyly may be passed on to my children, but I also know it may not. Regardless, I want to have my own kids, and if they inherit my birth defect, I wont love them any less. And if they don't inherit it, I wont love them any less for that either. I also have it set in my mind I would never marry someone who was not 100% supportive and accepting of us having a family regardless of what the outcome.

Posted on: Tue, Sep 2 2008 8:13 PM

Posted by: gena1984 Posts: 139

As most of you know, i have a 5 year old little girl.  I had her before my accident.  When i got pregnant, i never had any thoughts of not having her, for any reason.  Honestly I never thought that i would end up with a Spinal Cord Injury either.  Either way, i wouldnt change having her for anything.  I think if anything, my accident made her and I closer.  And, i think the only way that it's affected me as a parent, is i don't take my time with her for granted.  I cherish every moment with her.  Before my accident, i worked all of the time, and quality time with her was limited, not because i didnt want to spend time with her, but because i was a single mother, trying to make the best of our situation.  So, I would definitely consider another child, i know it would be challenging, but it's well worth it!

Gena

Posted on: Tue, Sep 2 2008 8:18 PM

Posted by: rainey826 Posts: 8,891

I NEVER KNEW I COULD NOT HAVE CHILDREN DUE TO THE POLIO UNTILL AFTER I WAS MARRIED AND WANTED TO START A FAMILY  .I  WAS  SHOCKED AND FELL TO PIECES .STARTING A FAMILY WAS VERY IMPORTANT TO BOTH ME EX HUSBAND AND I ......... SO WE SEEKED ADOPTION . HE SO UNDERSTOOD AND THE SUPPORT WAS OUT STANDING , THE ONLY PROBLEM WE RAN IN TO WAS IT IS NOT EASY TO ADOPT WITH A DISABILTY .......NOW REMEMBER THIS WAS BACK IF THE LATE SEVENTIES TOO ......USA WAS TOP OF THE LIST AND WE WERE REJECTED .........SO TO INTERNATIONAL ADOPTIONS WE WENT AND THERE ARE SO SO MANY CHILDREN IN NEEDS OF HOMES . WE CHOOSE INDIA FOR THEY HAD THE SHORTEST WAITING LIST AND WE KNEW WE WANTED MORE THEN ONE CHILD ...........SO INDIA WE WENT WITH AND I WAS BLESSED TWICE ...... I AM A FIRM BELIEVER THAT YOU DONT HAVE TO GIVE BIRTH TO BECOME A PARENT OR TO MAKE YOU A COMPLETE WOMAN  ......MY CHILDREN GREW IN MY HEART .. YOU MAY SEE THERE PICTURES ON MY PROFILE AND A DAY DON'T GO BY WITHOUT ME THANKING GOD FOR THEM FOR THERE IS NO GREATER GIFT IN THE WORLD  LIKE A CHILD  ..........RAINEY XO     MY ANGLES ARE NOW GROWN YOUNG LADIES 25 AND 28

Posted on: Tue, Sep 2 2008 8:19 PM

Posted by: Nightengale Posts: 799

I'm not planning on having children but it doesn't have anything to do with my disability.  For what it's worth, CP is not hereditary but Type 1 diabetes appears to be in my family to some extent.  But I've known I didn't want kids since before I had the diabetes.  Partly because I don't want a partner.

Posted on: Tue, Sep 2 2008 8:29 PM

Posted by: Becky Posts: 1,561

Gena, aww, what a wonderful age! Is she going to Kindergarten? Cherish these days, though they may be hard, because Rainey and I can tell you they go by too fast.

Rainey, I'm sorry you weren't able to have your own children. Imagine, though, what a difference you made in the lives of your two daughters? They are so lucky to have you for their mom, and I would imagine you feel lucky, as well! I don't even want to think about where my Korean niece and nephew might be now, if my brother and his wife hadn't adopted them.

No, my boys are 18-1/2 and 17, and I've only be disabled for 3-1/2 years. Good question, perf!

Becky

Posted on: Tue, Sep 2 2008 9:17 PM

Posted by: TriDog Posts: 2,763

Nightengale:

Partly because I don't want a partner.

Interesting?  I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that didn’t want a partner.  But to each his/her own.  But some people are just happier being single. 

Posted on: Tue, Sep 2 2008 9:19 PM

Posted by: Silly Posts: 104

Hiya perf!! For me it was very important I have been disabled all my life though I was able to walk for the first 30 something years... But even so I wanted to have a child with my first husband nothing happened (mmmm I think God knew what he was doing there lol)... The second time around was the trick and I have a beauiful mostly healthy 14 year old son... He does have my form of MD but not so bad, but kids are born with worse everyday.....Thanks for listening...... keep smiling  Silly 

Posted on: Tue, Sep 2 2008 11:36 PM

Posted by: Becky Posts: 1,561

TriDog:

Nightengale:

Partly because I don't want a partner.

 

There was also a fairness factor.  I realize how tough it was on the female population to have just one of me in the world.  I mean, ladies, I’m only human.  I can only spread myself so far.  Now, what kind of father would I be to put that kind of pressure on a son? Do you realize how many sons I would have to have to please all the woman out there?  Again. I'm only human.

I see you only practice self-deprecating humor! LOL. You crack me up!

Becky