A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN RE-WORD:
What do you call a country where everyone drives a red car? A red carnation.
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well, red.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
A backwards poet writes inverse.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed?
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you a flat minor.
If a clock is hungry does it go back four seconds?
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
Sign for a networking business in Australia: The LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
squabwithfibro
