Tiffiny
Tiffiny
Minneapolis, MN
Female
Single

1 day or 1 year. How long does it take to really know “wheelchair life?”

Posted: 6/6/2009 at 08:06 PM

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The recent headline of Saturday’s singer Vanessa White who sprained her ankle on tour a short while ago and had to perform from a wheelchair, at a recent Saturday’s gig in Oxford, England, got me thinking about how long it takes for someone to really know what it’s like to be a full-time wheelchair-user. Can anyone really understand in under a year’s time?

I think rubber stamping a specific amount of time on how long it must take to realize this experience is the wrong way to go about it however. The speed at which the brain of the wheelchair-user can finally come to the point where, let’s say, wondering about building accessibility is second-nature to them, or that they’ve moved past the grieving stage of not being able to walk and have found other hobbies to occupy their time. Maybe these are signs when trying to figure out if the person in the wheelchair has finally really come to understand what it’s like to live without walking.

This search, this yearning to find someone who knows what it’s like to be us, IS human nature in it of itself. Why do I care so much about this thing that I’m even taking the time to blog about it? Well, if we want to get honest: Because this wheelchair thing really, really sucks. That’s why I care. The child in me wants someone to suffer as much as I do because I feel this whole hand of cards I’ve been dealt with is totally unfair.

So Vanessa White. Does singing on-stage in a wheelchair before thousands of people give her extra experience points when it comes to achieving “pro” status as a wheelchair-user? And was it totally humiliating for her or did she secretly like the attention? And ill this be something she never forgets, or will she forget about it much like how she forgot what she ate last Monday?
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  • afo49guy wrote on Jun 7, 2009 at 1:53 AM
    tiffiny you asked some very interesting questions.I suppose the answer depends to a large extent on the individual.Obviously using a wheelchair for a short time and knowing that eventually you will be able to walk again must be a far different experience than learning that you cannot walk again(barring some kind of miracle). I remember coming across an article in a newspaper titled When I was Tall, written by a young woman who had to use a wheelchair after an accident that left her legs paralyzed.It detailed a lot of the changes that using the wheelchair had brought to her life. But I would expect that someone who had NEVER been able to walk might relate a different set of experiences and feelings.So it`s really hard to say.I tend to be very skeptical of celebrities in general because most of them have become so spoiled. I can see where seeing some media type gush about some celeb who had to use a wheelchair temporarily might not have much credibility to someone who has to use a wheelchair for the rest of their life.
  • afo49guy wrote on Jun 7, 2009 at 1:53 AM
    tiffiny you asked some very interesting questions.I suppose the answer depends to a large extent on the individual.Obviously using a wheelchair for a short time and knowing that eventually you will be able to walk again must be a far different experience than learning that you cannot walk again(barring some kind of miracle). I remember coming across an article in a newspaper titled When I was Tall, written by a young woman who had to use a wheelchair after an accident that left her legs paralyzed.It detailed a lot of the changes that using the wheelchair had brought to her life. But I would expect that someone who had NEVER been able to walk might relate a different set of experiences and feelings.So it`s really hard to say.I tend to be very skeptical of celebrities in general because most of them have become so spoiled. I can see where seeing some media type gush about some celeb who had to use a wheelchair temporarily might not have much credibility to someone who has to use a wheelchair for the rest of their life.
  • Debbie/SPS wrote on Jun 7, 2009 at 2:57 PM
    I am not confined to wheelchair use, but some of my SPS buddies are. I am confined by many physical limitations with the disabling symptoms of SPS, my dealt hand of cruel fate. I understood all of your musings in this post. As far as how long it takes to understand disability (i.e., wheelchair use); I can only answer for me, after living with my dianosis since 1994...a lifetime. Every day is a challenge, lesson learned, and hopefully, a triumph of spirit...guts, tears, & hope.
  • Debbie/SPS wrote on Jun 7, 2009 at 2:58 PM
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    I am not confined to wheelchair use, but some of my SPS buddies are. I am confined by many physical limitations with the disabling symptoms of SPS, my dealt hand of cruel fate. I understood all of your musings in this post. As far as how long it takes to understand disability (i.e., wheelchair use); I can only answer for me, after living with my dianosis since 1994...a lifetime. Every day is a challenge, lesson learned, and hopefully, a triumph of spirit...guts, tears, & hope.
  • Tiffiny wrote on Jun 9, 2009 at 4:58 PM
    thanks for your answers guys. it seems like the "how long" question really varies on the person....which is the way it should be i think.
  • Kelly Narowski wrote on Jun 11, 2009 at 9:48 AM
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    I don't think the "temporarily disabled wheelchair experience" is even close to the "full permanently disabled wheelchair experience." The temps do however get an itty bitty taste of it, (i.e. curb cuts, both stairs and stares..) The one thing they won't experience at all is the label... the sterotypes.. the patronization.. or compliments to their partner for being with a person with a disability. The will experience the architectural barriers temporarily (if they venture out much) but not the attitudinal barriers and ignorance/rude comments the long-termer gets I found something kinda funny a few years ago. My brother wouldn't use my backup chair in public just to go to the movies with me, even though he sprained his ankle. Obviously he was aware of the labels/stares and worried what people would think of him (just my opinion).. I mean why else wouldn't he use a piece of medical equipment for a couple hours to help him get around with a hurt ankle? He didn't want to be part of the club! He even ended up skipping the movie actually. Just think if real wheelchair users did that, we wouldn't ever go anywhere! I suppose there are some though that stay inside, worn out from the labels, ignorance, attitudinal and architectural barriers. As far as "getting over it" or accepting the permanent disability putting me in a chair, speaking for myself I don't think I will ever 100% accept it. I will just do the best I can everyday, that's my policy. Isn't that what every person does though? Just doing the best they can to get through life, surviving, because life is sometimes hard (and sometimes incredibly hard), AB or not.
  • Kelly Narowski wrote on Jun 11, 2009 at 9:48 AM
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    I don't think the "temporarily disabled wheelchair experience" is even close to the "full permanently disabled wheelchair experience." The temps do however get an itty bitty taste of it, (i.e. curb cuts, both stairs and stares..) The one thing they won't experience at all is the label... the sterotypes.. the patronization.. or compliments to their partner for being with a person with a disability. The will experience the architectural barriers temporarily (if they venture out much) but not the attitudinal barriers and ignorance/rude comments the long-termer gets I found something kinda funny a few years ago. My brother wouldn't use my backup chair in public just to go to the movies with me, even though he sprained his ankle. Obviously he was aware of the labels/stares and worried what people would think of him (just my opinion).. I mean why else wouldn't he use a piece of medical equipment for a couple hours to help him get around with a hurt ankle? He didn't want to be part of the club! He even ended up skipping the movie actually. Just think if real wheelchair users did that, we wouldn't ever go anywhere! I suppose there are some though that stay inside, worn out from the labels, ignorance, attitudinal and architectural barriers. As far as "getting over it" or accepting the permanent disability putting me in a chair, speaking for myself I don't think I will ever 100% accept it. I will just do the best I can everyday, that's my policy. Isn't that what every person does though? Just doing the best they can to get through life, surviving, because life is sometimes hard (and sometimes incredibly hard), AB or not.
  • Nanal wrote on Jun 13, 2009 at 4:31 PM
    Good answer Kelly......real good answer...........peace and love.....Norma
  • Josh wrote on Jun 19, 2009 at 3:29 PM
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    ill be coming upon 6 years in a wheelchair next month. i am T6 complete para. and yet i am still not use to nor fully accepted the wheelchair life, nor do i think i ever will. its always on my mind. i have went through the 5 stages of grief and have been able to somewhat accept it and have built my life back up. i graduated college, bought my own home, working a normal job, and trying to be a productive member in society. i have done well with what i have been given, but still cannot get over how i was. I was a star athlete growing up, voted most athletic every year in school. given a scholarship to play college football. my legs were my livelyhood. to have them not work in a split instance is something i will never forget. my past life is what haunts me, how i use to be, and how i use to function. something that keeps me on the depressed side of life. im now a whiz at the wheelchair, spending 24/7 in one will do that to ya. use wheelchair users are always having to figure out obstacles in our way, and how to adapt and overcome them. always having to watch the ground of cracks, pot holes and uneven ground. I am fast in mine, and amaze people with how i get around. it does take alot out of a person to have to use their arms all day to push them around. always physically drained at the end of the night. but my arms are rock solid, and stronger than ever before. but i miss using my legs and look forward to using them again some day. If you arent wheelchair bound, i suggest using one for a whole day, and not your legs at all, not even a bit. you will realize just what you take for granted and u will appreciate your freedom sooo much more.
  • Josh wrote on Jun 19, 2009 at 3:34 PM
    • view profile
    ill be coming upon 6 years in a wheelchair next month. i am T6 complete para. and yet i am still not use to nor fully accepted the wheelchair life, nor do i think i ever will. its always on my mind. i have went through the 5 stages of grief and have been able to somewhat accept it and have built my life back up. i graduated college, bought my own home, working a normal job, and trying to be a productive member in society. i have done well with what i have been given, but still cannot get over how i was. I was a star athlete growing up, voted most athletic every year in school. given a scholarship to play college football. my legs were my livelyhood. to have them not work in a split instance is something i will never forget. my past life is what haunts me, how i use to be, and how i use to function. something that keeps me on the depressed side of life. im now a whiz at the wheelchair, spending 24/7 in one will do that to ya. use wheelchair users are always having to figure out obstacles in our way, and how to adapt and overcome them. always having to watch the ground of cracks, pot holes and uneven ground. I am fast in mine, and amaze people with how i get around. it does take alot out of a person to have to use their arms all day to push them around. always physically drained at the end of the night. but my arms are rock solid, and stronger than ever before. but i miss using my legs and look forward to using them again some day. If you arent wheelchair bound, i suggest using one for a whole day, and not your legs at all, not even a bit. you will realize just what you take for granted and u will appreciate your freedom sooo much more.