Over the past few weeks, a common conversational thread has popped up in many layers of my life. At its core, it has to do with how we deal with life and what life throws our way. Whether the circumstances we face make us throw up our hands and give up, or whether they make us stronger and even help us thrive.
This came up at work, in a general conversation about how people, when faced with a situation that causes them to be disabled, have a positive outlook and move forward or focus on what they can no longer do, and despite myriad supports and resources, just never deal with their newfound disability. It's not just disability that causes people to stumble though. My coworker told me a story about her husband's grandson. His parents, solidly upper middle class, she a stay at home mom, were devastated recently by the news that their five year old son needs glasses. It was all my coworker could do, as someone who works in a rehabilitation facility, to be even slightly empathetic. Hell, if the fact of needing glasses throws them for a loop, what happens if this child ever ends up blind or in a wheelchair?
Then, there another coworker, who has MD, and was in a car accident a few years ago, which causes her to start using a wheelchair for the first time. This same woman has a son who is in the military who just got back safely from Iraq. Then this summer, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. But, she's back at work and seems to be her old positive self.
I count myself as a thriver. No matter what life has thrown my way -- RA at age 4, the death of my dad at age 7, a summer spent in the hospital when I was 16 for total hips and knees joint replacement surgery, a brother who served in Viet Nam, the death of my mother at age 26.... Wayward boy numerous times... Despite all this and more, I remain pretty darn positive and seem to be thriving. No, I'm not rich, but I have lots of great friends, a wonderful support system of friends and family.
At church this morning it got a bit New Agey... they're working through the Eckhardt Tolle book A New Earth. And, the sermon was about our pain body and how all the hurts and emotions we've never expressed or released get bottled up and become toxic. Yes, she went there... implying disability could be caused by our pain body. I will talk to her at some point about this exaggeration. But, I do agree partly. That our outlook and positive energy can help us keep our bodies, immune system and minds healthy. I don't go so far as to see we can avoid all disease or disability, but how we can make a huge difference on how we live with the bodies we have.
My chubby, round stiff little body has served me well over the years. I'll continue to thrive as long as I have the breath in my body to live. Life's too short to be a bitter, negative soul. Now, that doesn't mean I don't get angry or sad or even depressed at times. But, I snap back to happy pretty quickly.
So, go out and thrive this week!
