naomimimi

Putting the "smart" in "sexy": Smart Cars meet Muscle Cars

2008-10-06T18:04:00Z

These photoshopped examples show one possible future for the smart car movement. Could a sexy, streamlined design a la Corvette or Lamborghini convince even die-hard muscle car fans to go smart? This artist thinks so...

Take this:

Make it into...

A Smorvette:

The Smaudi A3 AWD:

A Smamborghini:

The Smorche:

Even better, a Smorche Targa:

And a Smerrari!

Now I want to see a "SmeLorean". 88 miles per hour!

(these tweaks are so realistic, even I was fooled in my bronchitis-codine induced drug haze)

Idaho State Fair asked paraplegic woman to leave because she looked "offensive".

2008-10-01T23:05:00Z

Mike Harn was at the Mother's Against Drunk Driving booth at the Western Idaho Fair on August 19th when he was approached by a fair employee about his disabled wife, Rose. Reportedly the woman asked Harn to take Rose and leave because there had been a lot of phone calls about Rose's appearance being offensive and too graphic.

Rose Harn was hit by a 16 year old drunk driver over twenty years ago. The teenager ran a stop sign and rammed Rose's car, leaving the 58 year old mother of three in a coma for 18 months with her brain stem almost cut in two. A paraplegic with severe brain damage, Rose has been cared for by her husband Mike ever since. Mike and Rose have become fixtures for their local MADD chapter, regularly making appearances at classes for convicted drunk drivers and at MADD events.

August 19th was different. At MADD's request, Mike brought Rose to their booth at the state fair so that people could see what the consequences could be for driving drunk. Those consequences were too much for some people to stomach. Mike initially refused to leave, but the next day, Miren Aburusa, executive director of MADD Idaho, dropped the Harns from their list of volunteers.

"The comments that people were making about Rose, I think were horrible.'" Aburusa said. But she dismissed the couple because of concerns that the local sherrif would turn up to enforce the eviction request.

The Harns have filed a discrimination complaint with the Idaho Human Rights Commission and have refused to work with MADD in the future.

I'd like to see where Mary Poppins would end up if she jumped into THESE chalk paintings.

2008-10-01T22:33:00Z

Mary Poppins was my favorite movie growing up. I liked the part where she takes the children and Bert, jumps into a chalk painting, and they all spend a lovely afternoon in the countryside. Chalk paintings aren't a common sight anymore, but I'd love to see where Mary Poppins and crew would end up if they jumped into these chalk paintings!

ETA: These works of art were done by artist Julian Beever. You can find his website here.

He who laughs last thinks slowest: Puns to make you laugh (or groan) out loud.

2008-09-29T19:36:00Z

Everyone loves a cheesy pun. They're the favorite to break the silence at an awkward social gathering or make your coworkers laugh during a tense business meeting. Here's a list of some of the best.

A bachelor is a guy who is footloose and fiancée-free.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A fellow once sat up all night wondering where the sunshine comes from. ... finally, it dawned on him.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over, there's nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” she said, “I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

A group of people were having a picnic on a rather cloudy day . The chef was sitting next to the firepace so that he could watch the progress of the hot dogs and hamburgers. Just about the time it started to rain a little, his shirt caught on fire because he was sitting too close to the fireplace. A friend noticed his plight and said to him. “What are you doing?” The man answered, “I'm singeing in the rain.”

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A robber broke into the police station and stole all the toilet seats, and the police didn't have anything to go on.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”

A three-legged dog walked into a saloon in the Old West. He sidled up to the bar and announced, “I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.”

A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be.

A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named Amal. The other went to a family in Spain, and they named him Juan. Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she told her husband that she wished that she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responded, “But they're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.”

Alimony is the high cost of leaving.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

California smog test: Can UCLA?

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

Is the nose the scenter of the face?

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of da feet.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

Once I got angry at the chef of an Italian restaurant, so I gave him a pizza my mind.

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

The former ruler of Russia and his wife were called Tsar and Tsarina.
Their children were called Tsardines.

The guy who invented the doorknocker got a No-bell prize.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

There once was a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Two boll weevils grew up in Cornwall. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind, drove a tractor and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Two Eskimos sitting in their boat were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the boat, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I'll go on a head.”

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Top picks for Fall TV to Take Your Mind Off the Elections

2008-09-23T23:29:00Z

The coming of Fall brings the thought of apples, hayrides, the changing leaves, and wooly sweaters. It also brings the Presidential elections every 4 years. With some odd 40 days left till elections, there's no escaping the political campaigns. Visiting my local thrift store last night, I was browsing the racks of sweaters when a presidential ad played over the loudspeakers. I guess the smooth jazz radio station isn't exempt. Since most of the internet and airwaves are taken up with ObamaMcCainBidenPalin craze, a safe haven for entertainment is the beginning of the new TV season and my favorite shows.

I haven't had a television set in over 10 years, so I'm not much of a TV junkie. Work, dancing, and my knitting addiction keep me plenty busy. But there is the odd evening that I want mindless entertainment, so I pull up Hulu.com or iTunes in lieu of a traditional TV, and enjoy a few hours of laying like brocolli and watching a few shows. There have been ongoing favorites I've followed for years, and some "newer" shows that I've really liked watching. Here's my (limited) TV list of the "A la Carte" morsels pulled out of the mind boggling buffet that is your cable guide.

Oldies but Goodies

Ok, so these aren't as old as, say, Cheers or Seinfeld, but they're old to me.

Battlestar Galactica

Robots, spaceships, battles, a chick called "Starbuck", and liberal use of the made up explative "Frack!" makes this my top pick. With a childhood ritual of watching Star Trek: Next Generation for over 3 years before going to bed, there's little wonder that I have a taste for space adventures. Battlestar Galactica (or BSG as fans call it) has almost everything a show could ask for: great acting, solid storyline, gripping plot twists, and lots and lots of space battles.

Leaving fans hanging with a mid-season halt to production due to the writer's strike, Season 4 will resume in June 2009. Hundreds of questions have watchers chewing their fingernails, wondering who is the final Cylon model, what the Hybrid really knows, and if the mission to find Earth will ever end.

Good for former Star Trek and Babylon 5 fans, tech geeks, anyone who enjoys a well written drama with some Sci-Fi on the side.

Not for anyone who gets irritated at cliffhangers, doesn't like robots, or struggles with the story's spiritual twists.

Can be found on the Sci-Fi channel, iTunes, Hulu.com, or your DVD rental service of choice. And if you're a fan of the original series from the 70's, the elves over on Hulu.com have uploaded it for your enjoyment.

Project Runway

"One day you're in, the next day, you're out."

Heidi Klum has replaced the Terminator's "Hasta La Vista" with "Auf Wiedersehen" as the farewell line to pack a punch. 12 or more designers every season are required to create a garment (or garments) based on a weekly challenge. They have a limited amount of time to produce the finished product and get it ready to show on the runway.

I'm a fashion geek of sorts, and while I have no problem going out in yoga pants and a t-shirt, I harbor a secret dream to be among the designer elite. Unfortunately, my Singer sewing machine and myself get into frequent arguements about the practicality of these dreams, so I content myself to sit and watch fashion come alive as the designers sweat, cut, stitch, drape, and pull themselves to the top. The occasional cat fight and sneaky editing adds just enough spice to an otherwise straight up competition of ability. It's always fun to see what kind of clothes can be made from food and candy.

Good for the fashion savvy, the reality show junkie, the crafty who love watching something come together.

Not for someone who can't stand "Drama" or doesn't care for reality tv.

Can be found on Bravo, Wednesdays 9/8c. Catch it now during the final few weeks before the big finale at Bryant Park.

Family Guy

Irreverant, tongue in cheek, and one of the funniest things on the airwaves, Family Guy has been canceled twice only to have FOX bring it back for the droves of fans that clamored for its resurrection. I hated the show the first few times I saw it during my college days in 2001. Considering my intelligence insulted, I refused to watch it again for a good 5 years. Now, I can't get enough. My humor has either matured or regressed, but nothing makes me laugh like the Griffin family and their antics.

Good for a non-traditional sense of humor and fans of shows like Adult Swim, Robot Chicken, or the Simpsons.

Not for anyone easily offended.

Can be seen on Fox, Sundays 10/9c, on iTunes, or Hulu.com.

Newbies

These three shows have debuted within the last year. While some reviews have been a mixed bag of good and bad, I've found something endearing and compelling about these shows.

Fringe

From the exectutive producers of LOST comes another off the wall thriller that reminds me of X-Files and the short lived UPN series Nowhere Man. While there have only been 2 episodes so far, they've been good enough to keep me wanting more.

The basis of Fringe comes from its name, short for Fringe Science, the stuff of science fiction novels and impossible premises. Teleportation, precognition, dark matter, suspended animation, cybernetics, all the topics considered far beyond modern technology is fair game to be explored. The creators are trying to integrate all of this into the real world, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Even when suspension of belief becomes difficult, it's still an entertaining 45 minutes. Don't make the same mistake I did and watch this alone, at night, and in the dark. The blood and gore are kept to a minimum, but the few goulish images that DID flicker across the screen kept me awake with a cup of tea and my cat on my lap for "protection".

Good for fans of X-Files, Lost, M. Night Shamalyan type stories (without the bad endings).

Not for the squeamish, the easily frightened, or anyone who needs a story to stick to proven science.

Can be found on Fox, Tuesdays 9/8c, and on Hulu.com.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Before the Matrix, before the Y2K scare, one of the first ideas in pop culture of machines out to destroy humanity was from a single robot called the Terminator.

We've had three movies from the Terminator franchise, and our first glimpse of the battle between human and machine is coming out next summer, but their foray into a television series has left me pleasantly surprised. Summer Glau, the innocent-faced actress familiar to Firefly and Serenity fans as River Tam, plays John Connor's reprogramed robot protector. Fascinating to watch, she alternates between cold machine and curious child, almost like she's beginning to realize what being human is really all about. The story isn't always believable, but the countdown to stop SkyNet's creation pushes it forward. The acting is a highlight for the show; solid, creative, and engaging. Season Two also has Garbage's lead singer, Shirley Manson, cast as a shape shifting T-1001. If a redheaded Terminator isn't great television, I don't know what is. *wink*

Good for fans of the Terminator movies, Alias, the Matrix, and classic "bang bang, shoot 'em up" TV shows.

Not for anyone who is irritated by an occasional spotty storyline or the premise of machines vs. humans.

Can be found on Fox, Mondays 8/7c, and on Hulu.com.

Pushing Daisies

This is one of the best shows I've seen in a long time. Mystery/forensics series always do well because it keeps the watcher tuned in till the end, but this is forensics with a fanciful, magical twist. It's almost like a fairy tale with the same gorgeous colors and larger than life stories that remind me of Tim Burton's Big Fish and Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events. The premise of the story is completely unique and keeps the show from being a ridiculous Disney type romp, but I won't spoil it for you if you don't already know. If you like fairy tales, romance, and whimsical cinematography, do yourself a favor and watch this show. It made me laugh out loud and feel like a little kid again. Anything that gives that feeling should be enjoyed. The second season starts October 1st.

Good for everyone. I honestly can't think of anyone that wouldn't like this show.

Not for someone who doesn't care for movies like Big Fish or Moulin Rouge.

Can be found on ABC, Wednesdays 8/7c, and on Hulu.com.

So while they may not help you make up your mind on who you'll vote for on November 4th, hopefully these suggestions might help you relax, kick back on the couch, and be still like vegetables.

How to eat a Rocky Mountain Oyster.

2008-08-15T18:26:00Z

Someone somewhere at sometime decided that it would be great fun to serve animal testicles as food. I applaud this resourceful attempt at "recycling" what usually wouldn't be eaten, but it doesn't dimish the "ew" factor in the idea of eating bull balls. While the pale, supposedly tender morsels are called a delicacy by many, they're labeled "offal" when you want to talk official food terms. Why would I want to put something in my mouth classified as "offal"? Offal sounds like awful, and I prefer to keep anything awful out of my digestive system.

Photo by Naked Eyes.

Unfortunately, I'm living in cowboy country. If you're not hiking in the mountains or watching a Broncos game, you're most likely in one of the local country bars. And what's the appetizer of choice at the number one country bar in Denver? Wait for it.... yep. Rocky Mountain Oysters, in all their greasy, breadcrumbed, smashed flat glory.

I found myself at this particular bar a few months ago, hungry, tipsy, and with some very adventurous friends. Returning from the bar with a paper plate full of what looked like deep-fried quarters, one of the guys plopped the plate in the middle of our table and said "Eat up!"

And I did.

Since I'm now a Rocky Mountain Oyster Veteran, I've found that they can be supremely delish if you follow these 10 steps:

1. Do NOT think about what you're eating.

This is imperative. If you start thinking about what you're eating, you will either choke or puke.

2. Be tipsy.

At least 4 beers in. For me, this is flat on my face drunk, but I digress.

3. Use ketchup. And ranch dressing. And honey mustard. All at once.

The more dipping sauces you can fit on this chewy morsel, the better. It will distract you and reinforce the all important step one.

4. Make faces and repeat as many bad jokes you can remember about testicles.

This will give the illusion that you are actually having a good time. It will embolden your friends to try eating the balls while making you the trendsetter. "MMMMM, ever hear the one about the weiner dog named Sparky?"

5. Repeat #1.

Practice your meditation skills and enter that place of peace and calm. You're about to put in your mouth something never meant to go in your mouth.

6. Close your eyes. Stick the greasy thing in your mouth.

Chew quickly, swallow.

7. Immediately drink another beer.

Drain it. This will destroy away the lingering aroma of grease and the aftertaste.

8. Laugh hysterically with your friends at the fact that you just ate a testicle.

Repeat the bad jokes you came up with in number four. Take pictures to record this moment of triumph.

9. Repeat #1-8.

This is at your own risk and only if you're particularly good at holding your liquor.

10. Call a cab to haul your drunk-self home.

Even the most understanding state trooper will not be pleased if you try to drive yourself home after eating Rocky Mountain Oysters. Get a taxi or call a friend to drive you home so you can nurse your beer/ball hangover in peace.

While I have fond memories of that night with my buddies, drinking Coronas, dancing the two-step, and pretending to be cowboys and cowgirls, I prefer to leave the Rocky Mountain Oysters out of the picture. I'll take my Old West experience without the extra dose of testosterone. ^_^

Breakfast with a Beef

2008-08-04T21:15:00Z

Thanks to my Plurk buddies for this great idea.

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Feeling angry? Pissed at the world? Wanting to tell everyone to stick their head where the sun don't shine? We have just the thing to start your morning right: Breakfast with a Beef! Angry food to fuel your bad days.

Start off with some freshly squeezed Vengeful Orange Juice:

Picture by Flickr user Atomic Citrosity.

Munch on Toast in a Temper:

Picture by Flickr user Marciana.

Scramble some Pissed-off Eggs:

Picture by Flickr user Yellowrubberduck.

Like your eggs hardened to pain? Try a Boiling Sumo Egg. RAR!

Picture by Flickr user L&Coolj.

Get your daily dose with a Furious Fiber Salad:

Picture by Flickr user Dorisa.

Try to butter a Raging Roll:

Picture by Flickr user Sweetwarrior.

Dessert with a Grim Gingerbread Man:

Picture by Flickr user Erinadair.

Angry Food will join you for your after-breakfast smoke:

Picture by Flickr user kill_bibo.

You'll be ready to face your day!

Picture by Flickr user scienceduck.

Tips for traveling with an autistic child

2008-08-04T17:33:00Z

Found an article on CNN.com this morning that may be helpful to parents of children with autism. A few tips for traveling were oulined on how to make it as easy and uneventful as possible. Please feel free to add your own tips and helpful experience in the comments!

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Planning tips

If you are traveling with a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder, here are some tips from the experts to make the experience easier:

• Preparation is the best defense. Call ahead and inform the airline, hotel, resort and cruise line of your child's condition and ask what special accommodations are available. Ask if you need a fridge, inside room, etc. Bring your child's own sheets, if you think that will make him more comfortable.

• Select an environment your child can handle.

• Talk online with other parents who have been there, done that. Simply Google the destination and kids with autism and you likely can connect with a local parent's group.

• Book low season on a cruise or at a resort like Club Med so there will be fewer children and the staff will have more time to devote to yours.

• Travel by car if you think flying will be too difficult. Opt to stay someplace where you can eat some of your meals in your room.

• Be forthright explaining the situation to those you meet.

• Develop "social stories" complete with pictures that explain to your child exactly what you will be doing and where you are going.

• Whatever happens, stay calm.

Ode to Joy and the Blue Danube: a Muppet choral performance.

2008-07-31T18:04:00Z

About two years ago, a young man got the idea to do a "Brady Bunch" style performace of some of his favorite classical music pieces. Here he performs his favorite piece from Bach.

This triggered the genius of the Muppets to kick in with a few of their own versions of classical pieces of music.

Beeker gives us his version of Ode to Joy:

And Gonzo and his "Pitch Perfect Poultry" perform The Blue Danube.

Bravo! Bravo! Encore anyone?

Dam Beavers are Dam Funny

2008-07-30T01:10:00Z

Old forum post found thanks to Spapo.com. Be sure to read all the way through!

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This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.

Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free- flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2003.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price District Representative Land and Water Management Division

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Dear Mr. Price:
Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood" debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skilful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity. My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is - aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation - so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers - but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter - they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment( Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU
RYAN DEVRIES + THE DAM BEAVERS

Advertisement to give the general public an idea of hearing impairment and lip reading.

2008-07-23T20:14:00Z

The Foundation for the Deaf in New Zealand put together this television spot. I think it's a very unique and creative way to give the able bodied a more accurate idea of hearing impairment and some insight into lip reading.

Enjoy!

Why some people should never be allowed to travel...

2008-07-23T17:25:00Z

Found thanks to Strangeplaces.

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Why some people should never be allowed to travel...

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."
A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

Have a bad day? Fly into the sunset with a hamster and a smile!

2008-07-22T01:27:00Z

Free, fun, and addicting, I can assure you that no hamsters were harmed in the making of this game :)

Find the game here, and have some fun with your hamster slingshot!

Kitty turns her world on end and tries out for the Beijing Paralympics.

2008-07-21T18:13:00Z

We've had a minor flood of cute animals and their take on living with disability over the last few weeks.

First it was Hope, the Bionic Puppy, a Maltese born without her front legs and outfitted with custom wheels to help her "git around".

Next it was Faith, another two legged sensation who's doing her part to boost military morale.

Now we have Lola, the amazing kitten who's flipped these two doggies on their heads. Lola's hind legs don't work due to a genetic defect, and she neatly solved that problem by figuring out how to walk on her front paws. I think she'd have an excellent chance to medal in gymnastics in Beijing :)

Bottoms up!

Funny Friday: haHA

2008-07-18T17:14:00Z