One of my first favorite posts here at Disaboom introduced me to this perfectly fitting term. Many of us are all too familiar with these folks, but here's my own definition:
Well Meanies come in a variety of styles. Some are curious and just want a closer look. Others are honestly ignorant that this is likely not our first time out in public. If we have safely arrived at our destination alone, there's a good chance we can get our own chair out or maybe even open a door! I'm sure some are unfairly labeled. While rare, there are still a few chivalrous civilians that probably do open doors and offer help to many people, regardless of gender, ability, or appearance. I also believe that some well meanies are simply lonely. "Helping" me will likely result in some small talk and it may be their only interaction with another person all day. I do try to remember this, but the unfortunate results sometimes can cloud my own well meaning ways.
Sometimes unfortunate results can serve as their own teaching moment. More than a few times, over enthusiastic well meanies have lifted my (thankfully empty) chair by the wheels. The wheelchair flips and the footrest whacks them right in the shin. I try to refrain a physics lesson on why it's generally not best to lift objects by their free-spinning wheels While it might be an important life skill, I think it would overshadow the real lesson I wish they'd learn: Ask before you help! Part B to this less: Listen to the answer.
Unfortunate results can also come in the form of leaving me much more irritable after our interaction. Many well meanies are completely oblivious to this effect of their behavior. Praying over me while I pump gasoline is awkward to say the least. The ever-faithful, "I was in a wheelchair once...." is also usually stated with good intentions, but...misses the mark!
It should also be noted that well meanies are not always people. They can also be messages, attitudes, and signs. They cross borders, occur in every language, and don't only bug people with disabilities. I've witnessed many well meanie attacks on mothers out with their children. This is definitely not to imply that I discourage people from offering help when a person asks for it or it seems to be the right thing to do. But again, ask and then listen.
Here's a sign from across the world as discovered by one of my favorite bloggers who recently moved to China with her entire young family.
Rather random, but a little strange!
Here's another from within our own community. I respect this blogger but found this captioned image and the attitude it provokes distracted from the excellent resources it means to embellish.
Who knew you could read your way right out of the wheelchair? My overflowing bookshelves don't seem to support this idea, but maybe I missed the point.
Do you think I miss the point of well meanies? Should their intentions excuse their often insulting, interfering, and overbearing approach? Do you have survival stories of your own from close calls with well meanies? Share them!
