Name: Disabled Politico

Sex: NotSet

Status: Single

Mother Determined to Help Son with Down Syndrome Find a Lover; Says, "What I Want is the Same Thing Other All Mothers Want for Their Sons."

Posted: 4/1/2009 at 03:18 PM

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Otto Baxter with his mother Otto Baxter, like most 21-year-old single men, is looking for a pretty, petite girlfriend with a good sense of humor. Otto doesn't want children, because getting up in the middle of the night for diaper duty wouldn't suit him. Again, much like most 21-year-old single men. But Otto has Down Syndrome, and that condition, combined with his mother's promise to help him find a ladyfriend, has attracted worldwide media attention to his search.

Says adoptive mom Lucy Baxter, "Why shouldn't I help him try to find a partner in the same way I've helped him make friends, educate him and write his CV to get a job? This is what he wants and I'm simply supporting him."

Lucy has set up a dating profile for Otto on Bebo.net, and is researching dating agencies in hopes of finding a young woman who would like to date her adoptive son. She's also announced that she would support Otto should he choose to hire a prostitute in order to "enjoy the same experiences as other men his age."

'I would never pay for him to go to a prostitute," says Lucy, "But if he wanted to pay himself to go to one, I wouldn't object. I think a lot of 21-year-old single men joke about going to Amsterdam and would consider paying a prostitute as a dare. The point I'm making is that Otto is no different from everyone else. I'm not appealing for women to come forward just so he can have sex - that would be tasteless. What I want for him is the same thing all mothers want for their sons."

Not everyone agrees with Lucy's stance. Columnist Miriam Stoppard, herself the mother of four boys, argues, "I'd say to any mother: if you want your son to have a relationship based on mutual affection and love, if you want him to grow emotionally, why would you send him into the cold, cruel world of prostitution? There's an air of desperation about what she's doing with too much emphasis on sex itself."

"She's also saying that she'd be happy for him to become a dad," continues Stoppard. "There are no hard and fast rules on this one - it all depends on his intelligence and level of independence as well as his prospective partner, though I have my doubts about how a Down's person would cope with parenthood."

What do you think? Has Lucy Baxter gone too far? Is she an exceptional mother advocating for her son's needs as a whole person, or is she failing to protect Otto as he ventures into the potential minefield of dating and sex? Should people with disabilities ever visit prostitutes?

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macdoodle wrote on Apr 2, 2009 at 4:34 AM
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Wanting her son to have a relationship is one thing i'd totally support those efforts butttttttttttt- the difference between love and hooker sex is huge......... relationships are wonderful .................. i can't imagine how hooker sex could do any good. I can imagine how it could potentially harm him and also set him up to see women as objects instead of people. ................... I THINK IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF HE LOST HIS VIRGINITY TO A HOOKER...IN STEAD OF FOR SOMEONE WITH MUTUAL EMOTIONAL SHARING AND CARING.
PerfectlyImperfect wrote on Apr 8, 2009 at 11:55 AM
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If he wants to find a companion, that is one thing. A prostitute is a completely different thing. No mother-regardless of whether her son is disabled or not-should promote such things, in my opinion.
Saydrah wrote on May 21, 2009 at 3:45 PM
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You won't find "reduced risk of cancer" on most lists of the effects of Down Syndrome
mimi wrote on May 22, 2009 at 9:28 AM
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what a terrible & tragic story. Firstly, I am a mother of a down syndrome teenager right now. I absolutely abhor the fact that this mom thinks that for her down syndrome son has to experience sex to be normal, even if it means resorting to prostitution. This is a sick way of "supporting" your son. It's encouraging irresponsible & inappropriate behavior. I totally understand the desire to love & be loved by the opposite gender but this desperate attempt is so unethical & perverse. My son is very much attracted to girls but teaching him appropriate behaviors concerning girls is my main goal with him, and that is respect & kindness, and includes a whole host of issues pertaining to a proper relationship between a man/woman. Second, should someone highly likely to be incapable of caring for a child due to mental disabilities have children at all? Unless the mom is dedicated to help raise the child, she may be endangering any child her son may have. There are so many different ways this mom could be encouraging and supporting her son to do. Having sex shouldn't be her main concern, even if it is something he desires. Not everything we desire in life is good for us & we can't have every single thing we want. I could go on but I just hope this mom snaps out of this.
all you need is love…… « Bibs’ big teeth Blog wrote on May 22, 2009 at 2:39 PM
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Pingback from all you need is love…… « Bibs’ big teeth Blog
mistressofmadness420 wrote on Jun 14, 2009 at 5:19 PM
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I think given the right approach to the situation and both are comfortable doing which may not be the case with all people but then sure I think this boils down to people having a problem mostly with sexuality especially when ones kids are disabled the way we view them want to protect them somewhere in the mix we can somehow forget they are growing up whether disabled or not they are going to have the same needs and I think that is her point just letting him have the same choices others have but also protecting him from some real bad things
B wrote on Jun 24, 2009 at 2:48 PM
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I'm confused - does she want him to just have sex or have a relationship?? What is it that he really wants - to experience sex or to be in a relationship?? I don't think he knows the difference and sadly, it doesn't seem as though his mother does either. If it is just the sexual experience itself then I guess hooker sex could be a last resort but if it is really a relationship he is seeking then I would leave the hooker sex out of it, that will do nothing to show him what it is like to be in an actual relationship. Just because he's physically 21 doesn't mean he is mentally 21 and he may not really be ready for either one. As there is no chronological age that has been determined to be the age that you need to have lost your virginity by I would consider only his mentality at this point - if he only has the mental capacity of a 13 to 15 year old then in my opinion he would only be 13 to15 regardless of his chronological age, so the question then is would any mother want her son to go to a prostitute at that age whether he pays for it himself or not - I would have to say that that would be a loud NO!!!! And a relationship/marriage at that age (13 to 15) is probably not that great an idea either. That's just my opinion.
B wrote on Jun 24, 2009 at 2:59 PM
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I'm confused - does she want him to just have sex or have a relationship?? What is it that he really wants - to experience sex or to be in a relationship?? I don't think he knows the difference and sadly, it doesn't seem as though his mother does either. If it is just the sexual experience itself then I guess hooker sex could be a last resort but if it is really a relationship he is seeking then I would leave the hooker sex out of it, that will do nothing to show him what it is like to be in an actual relationship. Just because he's physically 21 doesn't mean he is mentally 21 and he may not really be ready for either one. As there is no chronological age that has been determined to be the age that you need to have lost your virginity by I would consider only his mentality at this point - if he only has the mental capacity of a 13 to 15 year old then in my opinion he would only be 13 to15 regardless of his chronological age, so the question then is would any mother want her son to go to a prostitute at that age whether he pays for it himself or not - I would have to say that that would be a loud NO!!!! And a relationship/marriage at that age (13 to 15) is probably not that great an idea either. That's just my opinion.

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