Help me with a Paper: Survey on Disability and Prostitution

I tried to make everything numbered lists, but it turned out all icky looking. SORRY!

I answered your survey, but please stop referring to the handicapped as "crips". It is highly offensive. It has and is used against handicapped people as a slur to imply that they are somehow beneath everyone else because they are a "cripple". You'll get a better response from the handicapped community if you don't use a slur in the title of you survey.

A few things: 1) It turns out that the numbered list/bullets works in firefox, but not in explorer, So if the survey questions look all jumbled, switch your browser. 2) Rod: I changed the title of the post per your comment. Please stop using the word handicapped. It is more offensive to me. Handicapped stems from "cap in hand" and denotes being a begger on the streets, because we have no other option. I delight in referring to myself as an "uppity intellectual activist crip" and do so often. I use the word with pride, as do many activists. It's "slaying the beast" so to speak. I was trying to appeal to the audience of this site. I feel as if the vast majority identify as I do. Please correct me if I am wrong.

I ANSWERED YOUR SURVEY , GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR PAPER RAINEY XO

Beth McClung over at Screw Bronze! hosted an entire edition of the DBC with the theme sex and crips (well I don't remember how she worded it but...)

Emma, is this the particular carnival that you were thinking of? http://arthriticyoungthing.blogspot.com/2007/07/disability-carnival-19-sex-and.html Why didn't I think to google disability blog carnival sex? You're a genious Emma! Thanks so much! Now I have TONS to read!

Actually cherylberyl, the term handicapped did not come from the phrase, cap in hand, that is a myth. It actually came from a game called hand-in-cap, in which there were 2 players and a referee. The players would offer up money or something they thought the other player might want. The referee would then judge the value of said items and the player that offered the lower appraised item would have to even the score. There is more to the game, but the point is the game's name came to represent anything that evened the score and the term handicapped meant to even the playing field whenever it was used. I am not aware of any instance in which the term was used as a slur as the term cripple has been used. Here is a link that explains the origin of the word. http://www.snopes.com/language/offense/handicap.asp

Good Luck with the paper Cheryl. Please let me know how everything turned out. Happy Holidays. Stay Strong

Good evening! Thank you for posting this poll! Personally, I'm torn on this issue. First, because of the discomfort/aversion many in society have regarding dating, romantic relationships, and sexuality with individuals experiencing the effects of disability/aging, I feel that we (as I experience the effects of disability) should have healthy options to explore our sexuality. For example, what if an individual needs assistance masturbating? Although home care services are supposed to help us perform tasks we have challenges with, assisting with masturbation is a VERY touchy subject -- no pun intended. Is it even legal? Is it sexual harassment? Could someone commit sexual harassment under the guise of innocent assistance -- asking the most attractive individual matching their gender orientation to assist them? Second, is legalizing "sex surrogate services" -- a term I prefer over prostitution because of the negative connotations -- a step backward in our civil rights movement? Often, I think dating, romantic relationships, and sexuality for individuals experiencing the effects of disability/aging carries some of the same challenges interracial, inter-religious, and GLBTA relationships have encountered. If the disability/aging community accepts "sex surrogate services", are we settling to achieve our short-term needs ( IE satisfying human sexual desires) over our long-term goals (i.e. being perceived and excepted as equals)? Would we as a community be saying, "Yes, we accept that as a reality of our experience of disability/aging that we are less desirable/capable, therefore must compensate someone to fulfill our sexual exploration needs"? Will legalizing "sex surrogate services" diminish our motivation to raise public awareness and to push society to see us as equals? Will it take the pressure of society to see us as equals? Although we legislated civil rights laws to be accepted as equals in terms of employment, public services, and so on, we cannot legislate human emotion, genuine acceptance, and discrimination in terms of attraction, relationships, or preference. Therefore, it is really up to each of us to reach out of our community, assist people get to know us as individuals, challenge stereotypes/myths, present facts, reduce prejudice, and help break down barriers. Third, I would want to be sure that, if "sex surrogate services" are legalized, that the industry is regulated to prevent exploitation of sex surrogates or consumers. I would want to be sure the disability community and sex surrogate industry are educated to identify, report, and assist help sex surrogates who may be exploited (i.e. sex slavery, underage prostitution) by "employers". In addition, I would want the community and industry educated to help identify and assist individuals experiencing substance abuse issues so that they can be assisted deal with the underlying substance abuse and potential past history of emotional, spiritual, physical, and sexual abuse; ensuring sex surrogates are not resorting to sex surrogacy or substance abuse as a way to escape reality. I would want to be sure the disability community and sex surrogate industry educate potential sex surrogates as to other employment options to be sure individuals do not feel that they need to enter the industry to make financial ends meet -- which I feel is basically exploiting someone sexually so that they earn money to merely survive for hydration, nutrition, safety, shelter, health care, etc.. Fourth, I would want to be sure that, if "sex surrogate services" are legalized, that the industry is regulated to ensure the health and safety of sex surrogates and consumers are protected. Basically, educating about sexually transmitted diseases, protection against sexually transmitted diseases, different types of disabilities, what constitutes consent, negotiating boundaries, and what constitutes exploitation. Mandatory STD testing should be required. Individuals, both sex surrogates and consumers, should be subject to enforcement and penalties if they are putting others at risk in terms of STDs or exploitation. Very complex topic. I'm glad to hear someone is addressing it! I'm afraid many people's needs remain unmet, people are segregated socially/relationally, and people enter into unhealthy relationships in an attempt to have their love/belongingness needs satisfied. For example, "Abusive Relationships and People Experiencing Disability" published in the February 10, 2006 edition of Access Press. There are some other links you may find interesting:

• A host of Disability, Aging, Dating, Romance, Relationships, and Sexuality Resources: ~ Similar Journal Entry: Disability and Dating, Romantic, and Sexual Relationship Prejudices? ~ Blog: A Different Way Of Thinking
  Entry: Disability Kink: Sex, disability and prostitution
  Author: James Medhurst
  Date: 01 March 2007

Yes Undecided Yes No Yes Yes Not sure Women I don't agree that the disabled feel prostitution is their only option. In my twenty-five years of being disabled, I have found that obtaining a romantic relationship is as difficult as most of the obstacles that my disability presents. Prior to my accident, I practically had women throwing themselves at me and obtaining sexual relations was easier than saying my A, B, C's. After my accident, I felt like the Hunchback of Notre Dame or something. I was rejected left and right, even by girls that I normally would not want to be seen with. Women, like the rest of society, seem to be inhibited when they see a disabled man. When sexual relations gets added to the equation there is the misperception that because I am paralyzed nothing works below the equator and that I cannot feel anything. However, when I used to hang out in bars all inhibitions were washed a way with the alcohol women consumed. I had women approach me and throw themselves at me on the spot. Some of them practically dragged me out of the bar and the others I simply allowed to push me out. My point is that relationships are very difficult to establish and even harder to maintain. I am making this point in terms of the able bodied and the facts are supported by the divorce rate. When you add a disability to the equation you have to apply a totally different type of mathematics. I have tried the alternative forms of dating using the telephone chat lines and computer dating. Once you let the "disability" cat out of the bag, you end up right where you started, alone but out the financial cost of membership. So there I am left the man who has strong, physical sexual urges and needs, and the man who has mastered the technique of controlling his mental cravens and desires for sex. The question is, "how does one achieve sexual satisfaction?" Because the Social Security income does not afford me an income for entertainment purposes, I have mental sex through pornography on television or the computer, reading about sexual acts in stories, or observing the female anatomy in public (e.g., the mall, the beach, go-go bars). Why would I resort to a sexual encounter with a prostitute. I know that once I lay my money down that I have met every expectation that this woman has. Thus, my work is done and I am going to be treated like a man. I do not have to worry about my physical appearance, whether or not I achieve and maintain an erection, or if she wants me to say, "I love you." I do not live my life worrying about whether or not I am equal to an able bodied man, because I have a take it or leave it attitude. However when I pull out my money, the prostitute no longer sees a man with a disability. Instead, I turn into a customer equal to all other men. I know that this gal is going to work to achieve my goal - a physically induced orgasm. Whether a person is disabled or not, we were all created to reproduce. When it comes to the disabled and prostitution, I tend to believe this is a man's calling or need. Once again, man was created to reproduce. Therefore, it is my belief that a disabled woman can lure a man into bed for free, because the vagina is far more superior to the penis. In conclusion, I will use the old saying that justifies why the disabled will resort to sex with a prostitute regardless of cost; "Man spends nine months trying to get out of the womb and the rest of his life trying to get back in." I believe that the greatest thing a person can earn is education. Therefore, I would recommend educating society about sexuality and the disabled. Appeal to every forum to spread this education and in doing so removing the perception that the disabled are an asexual component of society. Back in 1985 or so, a paralyzed women was displayed in Playboy. Use these type of magazines and have naked layouts of disabled men and women. The homosexuals have a gay telephone chat line. Therefore, create a disabled chat line and market it to the able bodied. Use radio and television medias to have an open forum and discuss the disabled and sexuality. Society is where the education is missing. In order to incorporate the disabled and sexuality into the majority, then push the envelope and bring this topic to them. Schools teach children about sexuality. Rehabilitation professionals teach the disabled about sex and life after obtaining a disability. Therefore, close the gap and educate society more about the different types of disabilities and ways of sex needs and fulfillment. By doing this, you remove the prostitute and teach the able bodied how to love us, that we are not a disease.