General Health Conditions/Issues

Posted on: Tue, May 20 2008 6:12 PM

Posted by: Aardvarkian Posts: 5

I have been disgnosed with borderline personality disorder.  I have been going to therapy for 2 years, and I am on 4 medications.  But this isn't enough.  I am still consumed in rage, swallowed by sadness, ridden with anxiety and painfully lonely.  It's greatly effecting my life in negative ways.  I have had to drop out of college because I get too panicky in class and I am unable to pay attention.  I've had to give up my job because I experience panic attacks and severe anger when I go to work.  Physically I can't handle much more of this either.  I've given myself IBS, acid reflux disease, insomnia and psychogenic seizures.  Does anyone know of anything that could help me?

Posted on: Tue, May 20 2008 6:40 PM

Posted by: brknbnes Posts: 287

Thanks for being still here. You're a wreck waitng to happen. You need to get your life/body/spirit in state of homeostasis in order to maintain some semblence of balance. (which we need in our quest towards happiness and bliss.) I think you are no different than most people, we all have troubles, and anyway what's wrong with having multiple personalities anyway? It's not a crime and it serves some people well.

It sounds like you need to get off the meds your on and try something else if it's not working for you. You are in charge of your own health you know. Take control, research, resist, exercise(mind and body), form some goals and reach out. Someone once commented to me;
If you gathered 10 strangers together in one place, put all their ills and troubles together in 1 basket, then equally distributed them back, 9 of the 10 people would feel cheated. So reach out, there are people here who care, and always want you to still here. Don't be lonely, lonely people don't like themselves.

Posted on: Wed, May 21 2008 12:31 AM

Posted by: Kara Posts: 2,789

Hi Aardvarkian~

Welcome to Disaboom-I'm glad you've joined us and I think you'll really benefit from the support of different perspectives offered on this site. Brknbnes was on track for pointing out the challenge you must be facing to find a balance but borderline personality disorder is NOT multiple personality disorder....in fact, there's no such thing as multiple personality disorder any more...it's an older term that's now seen differently according to professionals....

Borderline personality disorder is entirely different though...what do you know about this diagnosis? Maybe it would help to read the perspectives of others that have gone through treatment and continue to LIVE life with this disorder. You should only change medication based on the advice of your doctors..and therapy is equally important. It can take a long time to see real changes because you've likely been struggling for a long time as well---it's a marathon not a sprint so celebrate the small victories and keep setting goals. We're here to support you along the way too. 

Posted on: Thu, May 22 2008 4:46 AM

Posted by: desertrat Posts: 1

 Welcome to my world

I no longer work,I sold both my vehicles,I live alone w/dog & cat. I have no real income. I have maybe 2 or 3 "friends". Going to store, unless in middle of night , or almost anywhere usually ends-up in panic attack. I've been married 3 times. Now I don't even try to date....I am hollow and sad and angry. I am on Cymbalta which helps, but due to my location I have not been able to get the help I need. After coming to terms, being a Borderline, I find it works better for me to isolate. I am 58 yrs old and guess the only thing keeping me going is grandkids who live close.

As for the person, who responded to"still there" you are way off base with your comments about getting off meds, getting in touch with life etc. Sure, everyone has problems.....I think I would rather have mine than yours..... come on down and walk a mile in my shoes..... lonely people don't like themselves.....I am seldom lonely, I  keep busy @ home(it takes all I have to keep going) . You sound like one of those "special" people........who have no clue......about Borderline Personality Disorder. I live this way inorder to stay out of trouble,to stay calm, and because this works for me......I'm sure that other Borderlines understand

Posted on: Sun, May 25 2008 12:12 AM

Posted by: ShimasChild Posts: 248

desertrat:

 Welcome to my world

I no longer work,I sold both my vehicles,I live alone w/dog & cat. I have no real income. I have maybe 2 or 3 "friends". Going to store, unless in middle of night , or almost anywhere usually ends-up in panic attack. I've been married 3 times. Now I don't even try to date....I am hollow and sad and angry. I am on Cymbalta which helps, but due to my location I have not been able to get the help I need. After coming to terms, being a Borderline, I find it works better for me to isolate. I am 58 yrs old and guess the only thing keeping me going is grandkids who live close.

As for the person, who responded to"still there" you are way off base with your comments about getting off meds, getting in touch with life etc. Sure, everyone has problems.....I think I would rather have mine than yours..... come on down and walk a mile in my shoes..... lonely people don't like themselves.....I am seldom lonely, I  keep busy @ home(it takes all I have to keep going) . You sound like one of those "special" people........who have no clue......about Borderline Personality Disorder. I live this way inorder to stay out of trouble,to stay calm, and because this works for me......I'm sure that other Borderlines understand

 Yep, we do. I also isolated myself from all but closest family. The average "friend" won't put up with the changing moods we have. Not taking the meds or constantly changing them isn't the answer either. They did that to me once and I wanted to kill myself. Not to mention I couldn't talk without crying my eyes out, even about simple things such AS changing meds. Never again. What I take works for me and no-one is talking me out of it again.

 And it's a lot harder if your mind AND body don't do what you want too. So the whole "get out and excercise" bit doesn't work for many. Seldom works for the able bodied depressed person as well... there is no spirit to get out and do this stuff.  In the older days, docs would just tranquilize us... at least the meds now don't sedate like they did and we can cope better. Been there, done that.

 Desert Rat, I spend the greater amount of my time with my dog and two cats as well. You are not alone per se, I do the same things you do as well. Take a tad bit of solice knowing there are others like you here as Kara said.

Posted on: Sun, May 25 2008 12:37 AM

Posted by: Becky Posts: 1,561

Aardvarkian:

I have been disgnosed with borderline personality disorder.  I have been going to therapy for 2 years, and I am on 4 medications.  But this isn't enough.  I am still consumed in rage, swallowed by sadness, ridden with anxiety and painfully lonely.  It's greatly effecting my life in negative ways.  I have had to drop out of college because I get too panicky in class and I am unable to pay attention.  I've had to give up my job because I experience panic attacks and severe anger when I go to work.  Physically I can't handle much more of this either.  I've given myself IBS, acid reflux disease, insomnia and psychogenic seizures.  Does anyone know of anything that could help me?

Hey Ardvarkian. Whatever you do, do not stop your medications. I don't have BPD, but I can kind of empathize with you, because I've had severe anxiety and depression before.

Brknbones, I don't agree with your advice at all. Someone should never stop their medication without their therapists or doctor's recommendation. Abruptly stopping some medications can have extreme adverse effects and it should never be done. Exercise is not the cure here either, I'm afraid.

Have you considered finding a new therapist or psychiatrist? You may have reached the "end of the road" here with your current therapist. They could advise you on a different combination of medications and therapy.

Shimas and Kara, you are both kindhearted souls. I'm glad you are both here to lend your  expertise to the situation. Shimas, you left for a while and I was worried you wouldn't come back. I'm glad you did! Hang in there! You too Kara and Desertrat!

Becky

Posted on: Sun, May 25 2008 1:17 AM

Posted by: Kara Posts: 2,789

I'm really happy to see the support shared in this thread. It made me smile tonight! To share a little perspective on where I've learned the most about borderline personality disorder...I work in an inpatient psych unit for kids and adolescents. Early on, I discovered I really enjoyed listening and working with young girls especially with BPD...It's a rare population for most professionals to choose because it can be so challenging but I find their perspectives really interesting. My own medical disability is a real challenge but thank goodness that didn't mean that people ran the other way when I came in for treatment. So I listen and try to help the families and young patients that come to our unit for suicide attempts, overdoses, cutting, etc...I've also been following several teenagers with borderline personality disorder for outpatient treatment--it's good to share their ups and downs and I consider myself lucky to get to be a part of the victories that they do achieve. 

I definitley encourage people to keep trying in terms of finding a professional that fits with you. Of course, by the nature of the condition-it's never going to be easy and even that relationship is bound to be rocky sometimes but find someone who cares about helping you and you'll at least have an ally in the fight. 

Posted on: Mon, May 26 2008 1:43 PM

Posted by: brknbnes Posts: 287

I sure didn't mean to cause a ruckus in here about taking medications. I'm not a meical practioner here and am not sure who is here,.nor do believe western medical techniques. (erradicate and medicate) I  believe in  a natural healing process if possible, just like it was intended to be, but it sounds like you are convinced you are sick and cannot be cured. So keep swallowing those pills and hopefully you will get to the place that everyone here thinks you should be.

And may you have plenty