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Re: You Might be a Handicapped Redneck...

Posted on: Thu, May 1 2008 6:43 AM

Posted by: Olivette Turbeville Posts: 537

There are more additons to our list!!!

(See modified list "Additions" on page 1.)

My Redneck Towing Incident:

I noticed my boys at the car wash as I was sailing across town in my powerchair (early spring).... and stopped to give 'em a mom-howdy.

Of course, they quickly concluded that I should scoot up close to their car bumper so they could spray the mud off my chair cowling.  We got rowdy and wet in just about two seconds and were squeeling and laughing like drunkards. Sure 'nuff, my chair wouldn't turn on again, and I was mighty damp.

They threw a rope on me and off we went to the house, only a few blocks away. Neighbors and passerby's hooted, hollered, honked and waved. I almost croaked from asphixiation from inhailing the exhaust rolling 5mph all the way home tied to the back of their car! (ack) The upside? They cranked up the stereo (WFO) so we had fine tunes for the ride!   <head banging>

  Keep 'em coming folks!

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Re: You Might be a Handicapped Redneck...

Posted on: Sat, May 10 2008 3:29 PM

Posted by: Olivette Turbeville Posts: 537

Got something new to add?
*Surely there's more*

New!

..... If you added camo duct tape to your walker to go huntin'.

..... If you covered you and your walker with a big garbage bag to make an invisible 'duck blind'.

..... If you added cardboard to 3 sides of your walker to create an in-the-woods Porta Potty.

..... If you consider intermittent cathing as fore play.

..... If if you've ever tried, while inebriated, to convince a 1200 lb. quarter horse to be your service dog.

..... If if Kimberly Clark, the maker of Depends, is a major investment consideration.

..... If you named your chair after a pro wrestler.

..... If you shop at Tractor Supply for wheelchair accessories

..... If you've ever line danced in your chair at a cowboy bar.

..... If you know that PBR stands for both Pabst Blue Ribbon and Professional Bull Riding.

..... If the the chain on your wallet has gotten snagged in your wheelchair spokes.

________________
- Stay tuned -

Filed under: wzername, You Might Be A Handicapped Redneck

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Re: You Might be a Handicapped Redneck...

Posted on: Sat, May 10 2008 4:12 PM

Posted by: Debbie Posts: 4,623

olivette, good ones!
love debbie xoxo :)

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Re: You Might be a Handicapped Redneck...

Posted on: Sat, May 10 2008 4:43 PM

Posted by: str8shooter_usa Posts: 177

I put camo duct tape on an extra walker I had to use it in the woods hunting. Does that count?

BE WELL OR AS WELL AS YOU CAN BE

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Re: You Might be a Handicapped Redneck...

Posted on: Sat, May 10 2008 5:48 PM

Posted by: Olivette Turbeville Posts: 537

There's my boy! Hell yes, everything counts!!

Put some cardboard on the three sides and it'd make a dang fine 'blind', right? Well if you could squat behind it perhaps. Which leads me to think it'd be a good in-the-woods porta potty for your date.

((BTW: read my answer to you on "whats funny" thread. xx0x0xx))

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Thanks Debbie!

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Re: You Might be a Handicapped Redneck...

Posted on: Sat, May 10 2008 7:37 PM

Posted by: ShimasChild Posts: 248

Ooooooo... you used my roll bar and KC light covers! Thanks! <blush> I love this list. I've looked at many of the ideas/thoughts and go, hmmm... now I could do that to my chair! HA!

Keep em coming folks! Olivette, Debbie, you did great here gals.

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Re: You Might be a Handicapped Redneck...

Posted on: Mon, May 12 2008 12:13 AM

Posted by: str8shooter_usa Posts: 177

Olivette -

Love this post darlin. You sound like "good people" that means having various intrinsic positive qualities. Gordon Lightfoot would have called you a "rainy day person."

Do something for me please. Put your right hand on your left shoulder. Now put your left hand on your right shoulder. Bring your hands together. You have just been hugged.

Rob

BE WELL OR AS WELL AS YOU CAN BE

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Re: You Might be a Handicapped Redneck...

Posted on: Mon, May 12 2008 2:27 AM

Posted by: Becky Posts: 1,561

Olivette, I've been trying to think of a funny answer to your post here and I just cannot!!! And I live up in hickville here, in the Upper Peninsula (UP) of Michigan. We call ourselves Yoopers. The only thing I can think of is wearing my boots when I go deer hunting and having to wrap the laces around the pylon on my prosthesis several times so the bloody boot won't fall off! That's not that funny, sorry. We call boots "swampers" up here, like "I'm putting my swampers on. " Maybe that makes it a bit more redneck!?!?! I have been keeping up with the posts so far, and some of them are really funny. Keep up with the cute posts.

Here are a few Yooper traditions. We eat "pasties" up here. Not "paste-tees," it's "pass-tees." The old Cornish miners brought them over here to eat for lunch in the iron ore mines. They are: cubed or ground meat with potatoes and rutabega (turnip), all wrapped in a crust and baked. No carrots and no gravy allowed, like the people in the Lower Peninsula do.

We also have a lot of Finnish people up here too. It's called a "sow-na," not a "saw-na." We also say "eh" a lot, kind of like the Canadians. We are just across Lake Superior from them. We have a saying up here, "Say ya to da UP, eh?" We actually tried (half-heartedly) several years ago to secede from the state of Michigan and become our own state. We feel pretty isolated up here and feel that the Lower Peninsula gets most of the money from the state government!

See ya!!!

Becky

Always laugh when you can. It's cheaper than medicine.....
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Say ya to da UP, eh?
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