Took a long walk inside the Mall @ Rockingham Park this afternoon for some exercise. Already all the Christmas Decorations & Store Window Displays are up. This year, I myself really can not afford "Christmas". I am in severe "bite the financial bullet", because by next week, I am expecting a $710.00 "bill" from "ALLSTATE", for the next 6-month premium period on my vehicle liability insurance for my pickup truck. My insurance rate has never once "dropped", since I started driving, when I was 18 years-old, 33 years ago.
I appologize for being a bit angry yesterday. After all, we "Autistics", who are also "Faggot/Fairies" are "doubly cursed", once, due to our developmental disability, & we get "BLEEP-ed On", by the "real" Christians, because we are "Gay".
Last night, before bedtime, I mutely played with my teethers & baby rattles for 2+ hours, & I watched the last 2 parts of the documentary "Crusades", narrated by former "Monty Python" star, "Terry Jones", who in real life, did study Mideaval History.
This afternoon during my walk, I did experiencesome periods of not being tired, but "floppy lower body weakness", & actually, I do experience some neuromuscular pain below my knees constantly during standing & walking. Being autistic & having natural "low bodilly self-awareness", I never once winced or cried out, due to my severe ankle pronation/lower body hypotonia "crouching & toeing-in/toe-walking gait". Even during low-level bodily neuromuscular pain, I always seem to have a facial smile expression, which does not match the lower body proprioception I experience moment to moment from pain receptors, & from my neuromuscular "positional feedback system", & my central nervous system Vestibular Sensory system, & all that being processed in my Cerebellum & brain stem. While walking or while standing, I myself have little to no sensory awareness either of sensations that my bladder &/or bowels are "going to void themselves". My conscious brain, simply can not handle the "added" sensorymotor input from my bladder & bowels, to ever be able to "reach a porceilin hobby horse chair" "in time", especially away from home, where I "do not know where the Men's Porceilin Hobby Horse Rooms are" in stores, ect. Another thing about me, is that I during the day, never constantly "drool uncontrollably down my chin", but I produce a lot of excessive saliva all the time. But, every once in a while, I will have a daytime "fit" of "uncontrollable drooling down my chin". Not sure why this is?
Not much else to report. It is getting dark early. Night driving is not something I like to do, because being visually oriented as an autistic, the "loss of visual cues/acuity" after dark, really "taxes my autistic wired brain".
