10 Ways to Make a Disabled Family Member Comfortable During the Holidays

The holidays are a time of excitement and of family reunion.  The season demands good food, reconnecting with family members and relaxation.  Most holiday hosts have a good idea about what is required to create a cheery atmosphere, but any tips aimed at boosting festive comfort ought to be heard. Perhaps this year you have a newly disabled family member and want to do everything in you can to make their holiday experience as pleasant as possible. 

Here are the top ten ways to make your newly disabled family member comfortable for the holidays:

1. Make your home as accessible as possible.  Consider entry ways, stairs and bathrooms and do as much preparation as possible to ensure that the person with a disability encounters very little frustration as they move around the home.
2. Plan activities that everyone can participate in.  Get creative and think of games and outings that involve the whole group.  It may not be a good idea to make ice skating at the Rockefeller Center your main event if a member of your group is in a wheelchair.  You don't have to cancel it, but make sure there are other activities too.
3. Talk to your kids.  Be open with your kids about disability issues and seek to foster in them the correct attitude toward people with disabilities.
4. Watch the sympathy levels.  Your family member is adjusting to something new and may be starting to accept their new condition.  If you show too much sympathy and you may imply that you think their life is horrible.
5. Don't make them feel like a burden.  Be sweet and kind and make them feel like you want them around, because it isn't easy having to ask for help and a lot of time they may have to be carried or they can't fit here or there and sometimes furniture has to be moved.  It makes the handicapped person feel worse if those things are done with sighs and faces like it's a terrible inconvenience.
6. Watch your vocabulary.  Use words that affirm the person first and mention the disability second.  People with disabilities are people before anything else and their handicap does not define them. 
7. Ask questions.  Don't be afraid to talk to your friend or family member about their disability, if you don't mention it at all it may come across that you are afraid of it or think of it as a disease.   At the same time remember that a person's disability and things relating to it is not what defines them; don't make that your primary subject of conversation.  Polite and respectful acknowledgment and curiosity is the best approach.
8. Don't be too helpful.  Don't do everything for your friend or family member with a disability.  Be available for help, but allow them to as much as they want on their own. 
9. Remember to give space.  If your family member or friend with a disability is in a wheelchair make sure that the pathways throughout the home are wide enough and that you respect their ‘no fly zone,' the area directly above them.  Don't go swooping over them with your arms full of presents or a tray full of hot coffee.
10. Be thankful.  Take inventory of your relationships and blessings and take delight in what you have.  An attitude of thankfulness is contagious and will encourage everyone it touches.

There you go.  If you keep a sense of humor, make a good holiday desert and follow these ten tips and you'll have happy holidays indeed!