Would you buy condoms in public while using a wheelchair?

Posted: 6/24/2009 at 11:09 PM

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It’s no secret that most people in the world are clueless to the fact that people who use wheelchairs can still have active (and satisfying) sex lives. So when I headed down the “Intimacy” aisle at Target the other day, it really didn’t come as any surprise when I got some curious looks from the nearby “feminine product” shoppers (and why condoms are placed by the tampons in the first place is beyond me. They really should go in the “raincoat” area, or in the “home safety” area (along with CO2 detectors).

But I digress. The stares I received this time around - and I’m just gonna admit it because I’m feeling brutally honest these days - DID bug me more than it usually does. And the good news in all of this annoying awkwardness? At least I know (exactly) why. When my usual patience for curious people and tolerance for stares (the 10 second or less kind) is as short as a burned down candle wick, I usually think it’s just PMS. But no. All of this can be blamed on a 10 year old girl.

This harmless little thing (bless her heart. Sorry for blogging about you hun, even though you’ll probably never read this) was staring at me as if her life depended on it; watching my very ungraceful quad hands unsuccessfully (I finally got it on the third try) grab a box of condoms. Her mom who was nearby, in her defense, actually did the right thing by not scolding her daughter for blatantly staring at me (this is the best/worst way to raise kids who will surely be uncomfortable around disabilities when they grow up).

But, I dunno. Maybe because it was a personal product I felt weird having a minor watch me? It just felt wrong in some way, even though she probably had no idea what it was I was struggling to pick-up. So finally, after 30 seconds of her staring, I looked at her directly in the eyes, paused for drama effect, and then said louder than usual, “HI!” She instantly blushed and walked away.

You know, I think I’m just going to go back to buying my condoms (in bulk) from CondomDepot.com. I need to stop giving away free freak shows.

- Sexual Relationship Resource for People with Disabilities Offers Insight to Love and Sex

- Birth control discussion for people with disabilities

- Be an advocate for your sexual health

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leslie wrote on Jun 30, 2009 at 12:38 AM
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I used to drive all the way across town to go to a certain drugstore cuz it was the only one around that didnt keep the condoms too high for me to reach without help. It's lame, I know, but at least I got the condoms. Used 'em, too. ;-)
Tiffiny wrote on Jun 30, 2009 at 4:07 PM
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Leslie, I'm with you...I'd totally do the same thing! :)
Woody Lassitor wrote on Jul 1, 2009 at 8:39 AM
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Condoms prevent STDs. Even if you can't feel it, you gotta protect it. Also, it's very un-American to censor comments.
MissLiz wrote on Jul 1, 2009 at 1:02 PM
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Even better when you knock a few boxes off the shelf and have your dog pick them up.
artguydk wrote on Jul 1, 2009 at 5:49 PM
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yes i would it only shows how "normal" we are and are being responcible too.
Gregg wrote on Jul 4, 2009 at 12:31 PM
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We are not teachers! With this said, I think it time parents become more responsible and stop expecting others to teach their children proper social etiquette. Digression here: Staring is a normal thing to do and occasionally even adults can be caught doing just that. But the negative effects, from adolescents who were never exposed to PWD's or never allowed to ask question about the disability, can be ugly. Yesterday, in the heart of the Mile High City I encountered two rather bizarre comments from one of four young people (skateboards) whom I happened to pass on my way to the store. "Look at the guy in a wheelchair" "ha ha ha". A moment later, as if to sort of apologize for the rudeness I hear, "yo, ***...yo, ***...YO, ***." First, I detest the "n" word; with or without any racial intent. Second, I'm fifty-one years of age and am in no way a friend or acquaintance to these kids who address me like one of their own. As a teacher, I love children and their honest response to life's surprises and "oddities." Most are just naturally curious and may ask some "improper" questions which I try to answer in a general non-threatening matter-of-fact way. But occasionally a question will catch me off guard...what's that yellow tube for? Referring to my catheter which just happened to have darker shade of urine in it then normal (needed to drink more water). Purchasing condoms in a grocery store means more exposure, pun intended, to the general public. But honestly, I don't think most people notice unless you need to ask for assistance reaching that discrete little box. And if they do? So what! They can either ask questions or make there own assumptions...which are probably more colorful and graphic then our purchasing intention, safe-sex.
PeterLC wrote on Jul 5, 2009 at 4:02 AM
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I used to find great amusement in asking a young sales assistant at a chemist (pharmacy) for a pack or box of condoms even explaining exactly what type I wanted. The assistant was far more embarrassed than I would ever be but maybe not as much as some old ladies who are always around when one buys such things.
Kendall wrote on Jul 6, 2009 at 3:20 PM
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I have, and have even had to ask the pharmacy tech to get them as they were placed too high for me to reach.

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