Top 10 Worst Valentine's Gifts for Your Boyfriend

Valentine's gifts can be a great chance to show your significant other how much you care, but choosing one is sometimes like walking on eggshells through a minefield. We already saw the Top 10 Worst Valentine's Gifts for Your Girlfriend. Since we all know ladies can be horrible gifters too, here are the ten worst Valentine's gifts for men.

10. Sex for Dummies

 Why It's a Terrible Gift:

 This needs no explanation, but here are a few things to note:

1. Books are rarely romantic or sexy gifts. Especially if they cost $4.99.

2. It's the miniature edition. That just adds insult to injury.

3. If you need a third reason, maybe you should try celibacy?

 9. Bald Guyz Head Wipes

Why It's a Terrible Gift:

Not only are you pointing out that your guy is losing his hair, you're accusing him of being unable to perform possibly the most simple hygiene task imaginable. Who needs special head wipes to care for a bald scalp? I mean, if he could wash his hair before he started balding, I'm pretty sure that he can wash his bare head now. Plus, "softly cleans and freshens?" How much time do you spend smelling the top of your man's head? Does it really need to smell like sunshine and unicorns?

8. Smoke Away

Why It's a Terrible Gift:

 Okay, ladies, listen up: I don't care if he really, really wants to quit smoking. I don't even care if he has said, "I should really try (insert smoking cessation product here)." It's still not a good Valentine's Day gift.

Anything that says, "Honey, I love you, but please change," isn't likely to be well-received. 

 7. Surprise! Baby Clothes!

Why It's a Terrible Gift:

Okay, if he's already looking forward to being a dad, and you already are a few months along, this is all right. But as a surprise? No. Freaking. Way. He's sitting across the table at a romantic restaurant, blissfully unaware that months of sleepless nights and dirty diapers are in his future, and he's anticipating a romantic, sexy evening. Then you choose that very moment to present him with some newborn clothes while grinning like the Cheshire Cat? Even the massive cool that is a Led Zeppelin onesie can't make that a good idea.

6. His and Hers Fishing Gear

Why It's a Terrible Gift:

 Look. I know it's hard to swallow, but he needs his hobbies so that he can get away from you once in a while. It may sound totally cute and romantic to give a gift that says, "I want to be a part of everything you do, even though I will hate every minute of it," but I guarantee you he's hearing, "I want to breathe down your neck every minute of every day, even when you're trying to relax. Also, I'll probably go fishing-- you know, that thing you do in a river-- and find a way to complain that the water is wet."

 5. Cooking Classes

Why It's a Terrible Gift:

Like #8, this is an example of, "I love you, so I'd like you to change!" Cooking classes are a fun idea if you've talked about it in advance, picked a type of cuisine, and compared schedules to make sure you're not interfering with work or hobbies. As a V-day surprise, on the other hand, it leaves a lot to be desired. You think you're saying "Let's do something fun together," but he hears, "I don't like your cooking. Therefore, I want an instructor to criticize you in front of me, at a time of my choosing, whether you actually want to learn to cook well or not. Then, I expect you to demonstrate your gratitude by cooking for me."

4. Cheap Liquor

Why It's a Terrible Gift:

If you're going to drop $20 on a bottle of Kentucky's finest sipping whiskey anyway,  why not go the extra mile and take him to a nice steakhouse where he can order a coke-and-Jack if he so desires?

Nice wine is a good gift, if your guy likes wine. But getting a man a bottle of cheap liquor just signifies that you're lazy and don't know anything about him except what he drinks.

3. Shoes

Why They're a Terrible Gift:

Not only are you trying to enforce your tastes on your man if you buy him shoes "because they'd look good on you," they're shoes. Most men don't see shoes as a gifting opportunity. Shoes are a necessity, not a luxury item, and men only need two or three pairs at the most. Getting them for a special occasion feels like a ripoff. You wouldn't get him groceries or deodorant for Valentine's Day, right? Then don't get him shoes. 

2. Homemade "Coupon" Booklet

Why It's a Terrible Gift:

Okay, woman to woman, let's just be honest: You're not going to honor that coupon for a homemade dinner if he pulls it out of his pocket during an argument over the equitable division of household chores. And face it, that's exactly when he'll want to use it. In fact, I've never met a guy who actually got to use one of these coupons. When things are good, he'll just be able to ask for dinner, a massage, or some romance, so he'll only use a coupon when that's the last thing you're in the mood for-- and you're not going to accept it.

 1. Male Enhancement Products

Why They're a Terrible Gift:

This is Bob. Bob just dumped his girlfriend on Valentine's Day.

How could Bob be such a cad?

Well, Bob's girlfriend got him a month's supply of Enzyte on the year's most romantic holiday. 

 Liked this?

Be sure to check out the 10 Worst Valentine's Gifts for Women, too.

 Alternately, you could just read some more funny stuff.