Some days my body and mind are in sync, working like a well-oiled machine. I have plenty of energy for a productive day, and I go bed feeling accomplished and satisfied. Other days my body rebels against me.
After needing to get up once or twice during the night, I drag my bootie out of my warm cozy bed, more tired than when I went to bed. I go about my morning routine of getting dressed and having breakfast, trying desperately to resist the urge to crawl back into my warm bed. My pain is more noticeable than usual. The thought of sitting at my computer, writing - or pretend to go through the motions - does nothing to motivate me. When I do go to bed, I end up beating up myself for not doing more when I have so much to do and for, essentially, wasting a day.
Today was one of those days. Last night was a rough night: my pillow wasn't positioned just so, the spot in my back needed to pop but wouldn't, and I had to pee at 5am, and even though I went back to bed until 9 - putting my daily schedule off - I didn't really go back to sleep. I knew it would be one of those days: I have projects to finish and posts to write, but no energy to do any of it.
Rather than pretending to work and get nothing done, I decided, with strong encouragement from my husband, to do something else. All that I felt like like doing was lying on the couch and watching one of Barry Manilow's DVDs that I had bought in Vegas but hadn't had time to watch yet. So, that is what I did! Lying on the couch in the middle of a weekday, covered with a blankie, with my kitty curled up behind my knees and the autumn sun pouring in felt so good; it felt so luxurious.
Tonight, when I do go to bed, I will try not to feel guilty for having an unproductive day. Hopefully, tomorrow my body will work with me and I will accomplish much.
