As the summer winds to a close, my fall schedule is bursting at the seams. In addition to writing and coordinating a few adapted sports programs in my area, I'll also be starting two new jobs as a group therapist and a college professor. I'll teach my first course in Abnormal Psychology next week. I'm over-the-top excited at the opportunity to introduce mental illness to a room of 25 students (who are exceptionally thirsty for knowledge I'm sure!) in a way that's dignified and non-stigmatizing.
I attended my adjunct professor orientation last night, met some other instructors, and learned about the school's policies. Everyone I met was friendly and sincerely welcoming. It only made me more excited to work there. Just before leaving a packed conference room, a math professor tapped on my shoulder. I turned and he said, "Oh I wanted to ask, What's your disability?" He waited anxiously with a few other professors poised nearby obviously listening.
I paused for a second as I reeled through the probably hundreds of answers I've given over the years. Should I go with the always vague (a bone condition) or the more technical (it's a genetic mutation that causes a collagen disorder)? I've also told people that I have a form of dwarfism-which is entirely true. Most people, however, believe all little people walk (think TLC reality shows) so that doesn't usually extinguish their curiosity. In the end, I decided to tell this man the exact name of my diagnosis (Osteogenesis Imperfecta). I knew-and was correct-that he would have no idea what that meant. More so, he probably wouldn't even remember what I'd said to Google it at home. My answer initiated the response I expected-a confused nod, a smile, and he said, "Oh-I've never heard of that."
He also said, "I always ask."
And that left me with a question. REALLY!?
I wouldn't call my feelings about this angry, but I'm honestly baffled. I *think* people's intentions are to demonstrate that they are comfortable with my disability, but I'm utterly confused by the fact that a complete stranger would think it acceptable to ask such personal questions.
Do people who ask me the name of my disability also ask 
complete strangers:
Are you divorced?
How was your last pregnancy?
What's your sexual orientation?
What's your religion?
What race are your parents?
What's in your purse?
Of course not!
[Graphic caption: The figure of a person standing next to a large question mark.]
I understand that people usually mean no harm when they ask me what's the cause/name of my disability. They are as I've stated before "well-meanies". It's still a boundary that is not appropriate for strangers to cross. I have questioned myself as to why my reaction is defensive. I am not ashamed of my disability, but I have rather recently in my life accepted the reality that it's often misunderstood and can carry a great deal of stigma-especially associated with working (i.e. If she breaks easily, will she miss alot of work? Can she really travel from site to site? What if she breaks while on the job?). Every disability carries some type of stigma. Mine carries a good bit of fear that sometimes leads to avoidance. My only request of the general public is to get to know a person before asking such a personal question. No matter how accepting one person may be of disability, stigma exists. If you're truly a supportive advocate, never expose people to a situation that could lead to discrimination.
How do you deal with this question?
More on Disaboom:
Attack of the well-meanies by me
Employment FAQ's by Kim Donahue
A discussion on Disclosing Disability in a Cover Letter
