Attila the Mom
Attila the Mom
Female
Married

How Much Does Appearance Matter?

Posted: 3/13/2008 at 07:07 AM

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I've been thinking about this for two days, and still can't seem to get a handle on it.  Most of us have been horrified over the story of Ashley X, the Seattle child whose parents subjected her to a mastectomy, hysterectomy, and growth hormone treatments to keep her to a "manageable" size so it will be easier to care for her because of her severe developmental disabilities.
 
Sometimes surgical interventions for our kids is necessary (although I personally don't find it so in the case of Ashley X, but I'm not walking in her parents' shoes).  For instance, the repair of a cleft palate.  A hole in the heart.  Repair of a severe hernia.  The list goes on and on.
 
What about cosmetic surgery to make our children look "less disabled"?
 
I read an article (link is at the bottom) about some parents in the UK who are considering plastic surgery for their children who have Down Syndrome (not that I don't think many parents in the U.S. haven't considered it, I just haven't seen any articles about it).  One mother, whose daughter had three cosmetic surgeries done before the age of 5 said, "We live in a society that judges people by the way they look. Society is not going to change overnight - so Georgia has to fit into society, rather than society fitting into the way she is."
 
urk.
 
I really hate that message.  And I hate the fact that these parents would resort to unnecessary surgery so early in their child's life so "they" can feel more comfortable with the way she looks.  It would be one thing if she were a teenager or adult and unhappy with certain aspects of her appearance.  But face it, how many toddlers care how society looks at them?  They're more interested in getting a cookie. 
 
But my own hypocrisy niggles at me.  Why did we get Little Guy braces on his teeth if not to improve his appearance?  His chompers were functional.  We even had to have two perfectly fine teeth pulled because he didn't have enough space in his mouth.
 
And I suppose if he had a couple of jugs like Prince Charles we would at some point have considered a procedure to pin them back.  He also takes medication for acne.
 
It's a tough issue.
 
Any thoughts?
 
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  • AndyZ wrote on Mar 13, 2008 at 2:08 PM

    Hi Hun, I mean Hon,


    I love your handle! Your observations are valid and spot on. I agree with you when you say the parents are doing this for themselves, not the child.


    IMO, most cosmetic surgery is driven by a psychosis, an underlying insecurity in people that no surgical procedure no matter how successful could ever satiate. Forty years later I still remember being dumped by a woman who said I was almost handsome. I laugh about it now, but if I'd taken her words to heart where would I have started? She was English too. Have you ever seen an attractive Englighwoman, lol?


  • Debbie wrote on Mar 16, 2008 at 10:35 AM

    hi attilla, theres a big difference between braces and operations at that young age just for cosmetics. i would never do that to my child, i think down syndrome kids are cute myself. thanks, love ya! :) xoxo